1. Information We Collect
When you visit Let's Dick It, we may collect the following information:
- Your name, email, and dicking frequency
- How many times you've clicked "I'm Ready To Dick It" (we're watching)
- Your approximate dicking skill level, as estimated by our proprietary DickScore™ algorithm
- Browser cookies, which we call "Dick Bits"
- Any unsolicited dicking stories you email to Andy at 3am
2. How We Use Your Information
Your data is used exclusively to enhance your dicking experience. Specifically:
- To personalize your Dick It journey
- To send you motivational dicking emails you didn't sign up for
- To calculate global dicking statistics for the Dick Counter on our homepage
- To defend Andy's claim that dicking it is "the fastest-growing sports methodology in the Western Hemisphere" (we need the numbers)
- For internal bragging purposes
3. Data Sharing
We do not sell your data. Andy has been offered "a lot of money" by unnamed volleyball organizations and has declined every time, saying, and we quote, "You can't put a price on dicking data."
We may share anonymized dicking metrics with:
- The International Dicking Federation (IDF)
- Andy's mom (she likes to see how the business is doing)
- Kyle, but only when legally required
4. Cookies
This site uses cookies. Not the good kind. The kind that track things. By continuing to use this site, you consent to our cookies. If you don't like cookies, Andy says that's "a you problem." Kyle has asked us to note that this is not legally sound advice.
5. Data Retention
We retain your data for as long as it takes for you to fully commit to the Dick It lifestyle. For most users, this is forever. Andy does not believe in data deletion. He calls it "quitting," and quitting is the opposite of dicking it.
6. Your Rights
You have the right to:
- Request a copy of your dicking data
- Request deletion of your data (request will be "considered")
- Opt out of marketing emails (Andy will be personally hurt but will respect your choice after a 90-day cooling off period)
- File a complaint with Kyle, who will add it to the pile
7. Security
Your data is protected by industry-standard encryption and Andy's personal promise that he "won't let anything happen to it." Our servers are located in a secure facility that Andy describes as "the vault." It is a closet in the office. Kyle has raised concerns. They have been noted.
8. Children's Privacy
Let's Dick It is intended for dickers aged 18 and over. If you are under 18, please get your parent or guardian's permission before dicking it. Andy insists that "dicking it knows no age," but Kyle and our legal counsel have overruled him on this one.
9. Changes to This Policy
We may update this privacy policy at any time, without notice, whenever Andy "has a new idea." You will not be notified. It is your responsibility to check back frequently, which Andy considers "part of the Dick It lifestyle."
10. Contact
For privacy-related inquiries, please shout into the void. Alternatively, attend one of Andy's seminars and raise your hand during Q&A. Kyle monitors a general inbox but has asked us not to publish it because "last time was a nightmare."
Effective Date: January 1, 2026 ยท Last Updated: Whenever Andy felt like it